Reviews by The Cineast

Two random strangers are targeted by the Government and must obey their every rule, or they will both be killed.

Shia Labeouf goes from a couple pretty good blockbuster hits in Disturbia and Transformers, to a completely unoriginal, not so popular Eagle Eye. (Not to mention he also starred as Indie's sidekick in the new Indiana Jones film.) I highly enjoyed every one of those movies, and saw Shia's career begin to fly. Then this film came along.

Eagle Eye isn't necessary a bad film at all. It's just a bit unoriginal and general. Nothing special is displayed during the duration, and everything is very "run-of-the-mill". The plot has been done before in Echelon Conspiracy, just in a different way. That movie was actually pulled off better though. I understand this film was made for money, and for people to just sit back and enjoy a huge blockbuster/special effects extravaganza, but to be honest, it didn't really succeed that way either.

I tried my best to like this movie to the fullest extent, but just couldn't bare with it. The movie isn't all dull. I mean, the cast was good, featuring Shia Labeouf, Michelle Monaghan, Billy Bob Thornton, and Rosario Dawson. Pretty star studded huh? Buuuuut....the acting was sub-par, and very unbelievable. I actually for the first time in awhile, found myself relatively bored during some of this flick. That doesn't normally happen, so it was shocking. The action is there, and a lot of those scenes are very good, but that wasn't enough.

Eagle Eye is a fun movie for a bit, than slowly digresses into your typical action flick, filled with everyday action scenes and very cliche aspects. I recommend this movie to some, but be cautious.

5.8/10

A dysfunctional family travels hundreds of miles on their bus, just to enter the daughter in a beauty pageant.

When talking about dysfunctional families, you can't get much better than this one. Little Miss Sunshine is a perfect blend of dark humor, emotion, and sentimental moments. It mixes both the positive and the negative emotions throughout each character, showing what each individual is going through, and at the same time making it very believable, as if it's real.

While on their road trip, they stumble upon plenty of obstacles, which quickly make you realize that the family is for real, dedicated, and aren't going to let anything get in the way of them moving on-ward. Steve Carell plays a suicidal gay man who was just released from the insane asylum. Probably one of, if not his best performance he has ever shown. He can be great playing any character, I'm telling you! Meanwhile there is the son who will not speak due to his belief, the over-the-top/rather dirty grandfather (Allan Arkin), the mother, father, and of course the beauty pageant daughter. The characters together couldn't have been better. The chemistry was perfect, and really made the movie for me.

The message shown in this film is very inspiring, and really makes you think. In fact, there are multiple messages displayed. What I got out of it, is to pursue your dreams no matter what they may be, and don't let anyone or anything get in your way. Very powerful stuff, and shown perfectly on screen. The other message is a very deep one as well, showing that family isn't to take for granite, and that they are extremely important, no matter what you may go through. I nearly cried while viewing this film, due to how powerful and moving it is. Very inspiring to me.

Little Miss Sunshine is not a movie to be missed, and will make your day, leaving you feeling like you just viewed something very special.

9.3/10

A curse brings back the dragon emperor, leaving O'Connel and his family to prevent him from ruling the world.

The first two mummy films were extremely fun, and packed a whole lot of replay value, giving me a reason to purchase them. They weren't the most intelligent of films, nor the most well put together one's, but they remained classics to me, my friends and family for years and years. The action was great, and the main character Rick O'Connel (Brendan Fraser) was a real hero, who kicked plenty of ass. I thought of him as one of the greatest action stars out there. The plot was pretty good, and relatively basic at that. They were very easy to follow, not to complex and really fun to watch. Just your action packed "Indiana Jones" type movie, but obviously not as good. The character chemistry really brought both movies together as well.

When I heard Rick O'Connel was returning for a third film, I was no doubt excited about it, and was expecting another fun filled adventure. Unfortunately, about fifteen minutes into the film, I realized that was not going to happen. Why make a third film? Is it to completely murder a fun series? I mean, seven years after The Mummy Returns is a little late to bring it back. Or at least if it was brought back, I would have expected a lot more. The story was ridiculous, unoriginal, and I am sorry to say stupid. I really didn't want the mummy series to continue that way, but it did. The good old O'Connel wasn't there it seemed. His quirky remarks and bad-ass look wasn't non-existent as well. It just seemed like the producers and the director pushed this film to be good. Trying everything from dragons and giant snow creatures, to adding Jet Li to the mix. Indeed they were trying to do good for the series, but it all in all made it worse.

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor was an unnecessary sequel full of over the top special effects with far too much CGI, a dull story, and absolutely no classic character chemistry brought back from the first two. I miss the originals!

3.5/10

After witnessing a crash at a Nascar race and surviving, four teens must find out why, and who’s next to die.

Like all the other films in the series, one character can see into the future, and knows how someone will die. The only thing is, what order will they die in?

The first three Films in the Final Destination series were really good.
All the kills were laid out very well, and didn’t seem too cheesy in the process. That is if your into these kinds of movies, which I am a big fan of.

The newest installment entitled The Final Destination, is by far the weakest in the series, but still packs enough entertainment to enjoy (barely). If you care nothing about good acting and a thoughtful dialogue, then I suppose this movie is for you. But even then, people may have trouble sitting through this. There are plenty of interesting ways of dying shown in this film. Kind of like I’m watching A 1,000 ways to die, and while those killings may be a tad bit enjoyable, they got very old, very quick. You will probably feel like you've seen them all before, and predicting them from a couple miles away. However, there are a few that will smack you right across the face, and really surprise you.

I also noticed the special effects were no good in this one compared to the other three. The blood and kills all looked relatively fake. Which of course made the movie that much worse.

The main characters were just terrible. I felt nothing for any of them. While that was disappointing, it at the same came no surprise to me. Just your typical cliché idiotic characters. Maybe the couple wasn’t terrible, but the other two really ruined the chemistry. Most of the dialogue and actions of the characters were pulled right of the horror handbook 101.

If your looking for an enjoyable movie to watch with friends, or just something to entertain you whenever this might work for you. Though there’s a relatively high chance it will leave you disappointed.

4.9/10

A group of bikers traveling through a remote desert encounter some flesh eating crazies, and must fight for their lives!

While that description may sound cool or appealing, it’s quite the opposite actually. The first question I ask myself, is why go if you are aware of what lies ahead? One of the characters is Lucy from the first one. She tags along, and eventually everyone realizes who she is. She knew all about it, so why risk everyone’s life by going back? I really don’t know. Sadly, that’s only one of many flaws to be had in this film.

The plot is as straight forward as you can get, with a group of friends getting becoming stranded in a remote desert, only to realize their lives are at stake due to deformed cannibals. Nothing special, and nothing worth re-watching. The hill dwellers are the same from the original version as well, so it was just same-old. Maybe adding a couple more villains would have helped? I think so. You have Pluto (Berryman), and his hairy friend the reaper. I mean, eight bikers or so can’t take two idiots living in the hills? Just ridiculous. They were all pretty tough at that.

To be honest, I really enjoyed Wes Craven’s first Hills Have Eyes film, and thought Michael Berryman did pretty fantastic as a deformed man. That at least packed some suspense, and had likeable characters. To think Craven took part in this picture is beyond me; very pitiful. I suppose every director has there down moment right?

When I think of cheesy horror flicks, The Hills Have Eyes Part II is definitely one of the worst. It brings visually nothing to the table, with boring characters, a predictable story, some of the worst dialogue I have ever seen, and absolutely no suspense to be had. I can’t even look at this movie as a sit back, relax and enjoy it for what it is type flick. It’s that bad.

Don’t watch this if you’re a Hills Have Eyes Fan. It just might ruin your day.

1.8/10

Rob Zombie's second go at an already spectacular franchise is iffy to say the very least.

While his first remake may not have been perfect, it was still pretty good, and had some originality. A very different perspective was put upon us viewers. A darker and much more gruesome one at that. Instead of being frightened by the very thought of Michael Myers, or his unpredictable whereabouts, Zombie brings him to life, maybe too much.

Looking back at the 1978 classic, you notice the director John Carpenter's take on horror is much more terrifying, and definitely got the audience spooked in the right kind of way. It's the fact that the Boogeyman is indeed keeping track of your every move, and has all his moves planned out far ahead of time. He kills person by person with no regrets, no emotion (Well he has a mask on, but you know what I mean), and he keeps it on the down-low. Not that he would even have to kill to be a scary icon. It's his appearance and movements that do the trick.

Unfortunately, That just happens to be the complete opposite of Rob Zombie's version. Which also happens to ruin the series!. Though I did rate his first remake fairly high. The current look of Michael Myers is brutal, and pretty shocking at that. His mask is banged up, dirty, and downright wrong. I did get used to it and started to enjoy it after a bit of time, but it didn't have to be changed so drastically. To put it into simpler wording, and to break it down, I am saying that Rob Zombie made his version Much more violent, and A lot more brutal. The only really bad thing about that is, is the fact that I am not as scared of Michael Myers anymore, nor do I look at him the same. Just having the classic, and sticking to that one, would have done wonders. Zombie did good for what he set out to do, and for that, the movie isn't bad. The Devil's Rejects, and House of 1000 Corpses is Rob Zombie territory however!

The plot is so-so, delivering nothing special, and nothing short of some creative kills and a mentally unstable Laurie Strode. She did well as one though. Dr. Loomis has a huge part, as he promotes his book through the duration. His book illustrates the life of Michael Myers, and why he became what he is. That book plays a key part in the film though, so don't underestimate it. I would be lying if I stated that I did not enjoy watching Myers kill his victims. Though predictable, and pretty same-old, they are still probably the main catalyst in Rob Zombie's remakes. I wish I could compliment him more, but he sure loves his violence. That's not necessarily a bad thing. It's just his style. Micheal Myers roams Haddonfield, still in search of his sister Laurie, and killing a few people along the way in order to complete his mission. There isn't really much special or unique about it. It just entertains. Not to mention most of the scenes you can see coming from miles away. Once in awhile a movie like that is good though. Personally, I have no idea where is movie was going. The story didn't develop a whole lot, other than a couple things that I won't spoil for you. I think Zombie either shouldn't have made this, or revised it so the whole Halloween story develops a lot more. Maybe more character connections would have helped, or a plot that told you more.

Overall, I still give Rob Zombie credit, because he took a huge risk, and didn't do half bad! Halloween II isn't necessarily a must watch, but definitely a vital addition if your a die hard fan like myself.

6.2/10

Santa must deal with Jack Frost, as he visits to cause mayhem on the North Pole.

With the fairly successful first Santa Clause flick, it's difficult to see just how a second and third could work. I mean people give Tim Allen a whole ton of crap, and for what? That's my question. He simply starred in three heartwarming Christmas films, simply made for good family enjoyment. People these days just can't understand that, and it honestly bugs me. If you think this is one of the worst Christmas movies ever made, then you obviously don't understand why it was made. No, it won't win awards, and yes, it does have a predictable, and relatively ridiculous plot. That is what it's supposed to be like. A fun time with the family to cherish. Yes, I am a movie critic, but seriously, these movies are made for FUN, and only FUN!. There are some films out there that I will be a bit kind to yes, and that is because it is the Holidays man! Enjoy them! But then again, to each their own right?

Ok, now that I'm done ranting (LOL), I will discuss the premise of The Santa Clause 3. Santa Clause (Tim Allen) must stop the mayhem of Jack Frost (Martin Short) from trying to steal his job of being the jolly big man. Sounds a little mundane eh? well of course. Meanwhile Santa's wife Carol's parents visit, and are told they are in Canada to keep the whole thing a secret. The cast wasn't bad, with Allan Arkin playing the father, and Martin Short adding a nice little twist with Jack Frost. Scott's Ex-wife joins the fun at the North Pole as well, with her new husband (Judge Reinhold). The whole family is pretty much there, with chaos slowly ensuing, and everyone questioning what's going on. At one point during the film, you will be taken back to 1994, when the original Santa Clause film was made, showing the whole sequence of Santa falling off the roof, and Scott Calvin finding out that he indeed must take over his position. That was cool because it really brought back some memories for me, from when I was a young kid watching it every year.

Why this movie gets so much criticism and horrible ratings all around, really confuses me. If you are in the Christmas spirit, and enjoy having a good time with the family, and laughing and what not, just give this film, and the other two a chance. You most likely will not regret it. It's not quite as good as the first, but it's still a part of my family's tradition that I hope will be carried down generations after generations.

7.0/10

A dysfunctional British family attends a funeral, where secrets are revealed and hilarious chaos ensues!

Let me just start by saying this: If you aren't into dry humor or dark humor, you will most likely dislike this movie a lot. I happen to love both, so I highly enjoyed it. Like a lot of dark comedies out there, or should I say most out there, the plot has death ensuing all the chaos and hilarious mishaps. With The Big Nothing, The Big White, and Very Bad Things being a few to point out. I personally can't get enough dark humor movies, and really wish there were more to be honest.

Death At A Funeral has a very basic premise, with a family attending a funeral of a relative, and a lot of things going wrong. The funniest thing involves a small man that nobody seems to know, which I will not go into detail about (spoilers of course).

The comedic material used in this movie is pretty similar to that of The Office UK, or the US version for that matter. It takes awhile to get used to, but when it sinks in, it sure is great.

When your talking about characters in film, you want something to remember, and Death at a funeral brings that to the table big time. There are certain characters that will annoy you a lot, and other characters that you will never forget. It has a great mix.

Once this movie really begins to unfold, it's difficult not to enjoy. It's a very good dark comedy, and most likely will be on my shelves once I get the chance.

Give this film a try!

7.1/10

After being shot, robbed, and left for dead by his wife and "Business" partner, an expert thief named Porter must retrace his steps, and take mighty revenge!.

While that plot may sound quite simple, it doesn't take away from the intensity and grittiness it has packed into it. Payback has got to be one of the best action films of that decade. Mel Gibson really put on a show with his deep voice and revengeful killing, and easily had me hooked from beginning to end. You could compare his character Porter to most action heroes out there. He's not to far off some of the best. I felt like I watching a movie from a different planet at some points. The main reason was the soundtrack towards the beginning and middle, mixed with him walking down the streets with no care for anything but revenge. You don't see many movies nowadays like Payback.

Before watching this flick, I was honestly expecting it to be very similar to most revenge movies, with most things going exactly the same, and a very predictable outcome. The Brave One, and Death Sentence are just a couple to note, Though Death Sentence was pulled off quite well, but you get what I mean. I was pleasantly surprised with the way this one was put together. Unlike a lot of action flicks out there, Payback adds realism to the mix. You don't see Porter beating the crap out of ten guys at once. He simply does what a very very tough human can do, and comes up victorious in the process. He gets beat up and bloodied as well, which is what a lot of action stars seem to "avoid". A lot of them are apparently "invincible".

This movie adds a whole lot of grittiness as well. There isn't a whole lot of heavy rock or rap music going on to make the scenes look cool. It's just the environmental noise, and that makes it that much more gritty. As shown in films like The Departed, Goodfellas, and other films to that extent. That's how I hope a lot of films will be made in the near future. It's a really good and efficient way to go. Unlike films like that of what Steven Seagal stars in. Now that's how not to attract viewers. More to the point, I am saying that Payback is excellently made.

If your looking for a movie to watch, where you can just sit back, relax, and watch some violence, than by all means watch Payback. It's exactly what the doctor ordered in terms of a fun action movie.

Payback's a bitch

8.1/10

I know what everyone is thinking, and I was thinking the exact same thing before I watched this movie. I too indeed thought it was going to be another chees-fest, low budget sequel, with absolutely nothing going for it. Truth be told folks, it's exactly the opposite of that, and shockingly good!.

The plot is somehow unique, with some originality mixed in, and not as many stupid cliches. Personally I felt the first film lacked the fast-paced adrenaline rush that Dead End has. I wasn't really engaged in the plot of the original, nor was I entertained as much I would have hoped. The two films are indeed completely different in terms of, well everything (except the cannibals of course). Opposed to a few friends traveling into deadly-cannibalistic territory, Wrong Turn 2 has several characters more, competing in some sort of reality show type-thing, pitting all of them up against quite a few deformed man eating freaks. It's the same old in terms of what you would expect from a wrong turn movie, but better.

If this would have had a chance in theaters, I can confidently say that it would have done pretty decently. As almost all direct-to-dvd films are low budget looking, and just plain bad, filled with cheesy dialogue and ridiculous acting, I am happy to finally see some signs of life in that particular department. While Wrong Turn 2 isn't perfect, it still sets the bar in the trilogy. Check it out, you just might have some fun!

Better than the first? heck yeah!

7.2/10