Reviews by The Cineast

I have not yet seen Haneke's original ""Funny Games"" made back in 97, so I really had nothing to go by in terms of a good remake. I watched this film with a fresh mind, not knowing at all what it would be like. "Funny Games" is about a family of three getting taken hostage by two young/mentally unstable young men.

The film starts off happier than ever, with the son and father getting ready for a boat ride, while the wife is cooking up a nice dinner. The family is also planning on playing golf with some friends the next day. You wouldn't think anything tragic could happen to a nice family like this. The keyword in this film is "eggs". I know your probably wondering why. The two psychotic young men stop by for a nice friendly visit. They ask the wife for some eggs, intentionally drop them, than ask for more. This is one reason why this movie is so good. You don't first notice it, but all the guys are doing is scoping out the household, planning a takeover. The two assailants have some great acting, and are perfect for their parts. Looking at them, you would think they were perfect angels, who had done nothing wrong in their lives. What unfolds after that is for you to see.

"Funny Games" is must see horror gem for most audiences, despite young kids, or people not into films with a slow pace. The way this picture was filmed, is excellent, and really impressed me. Funny Games really puts you on the edge of your seat with it's creepy, yet quiet way of showing real horror, and what can really happen to you. Funny Games is one of the best horror films to date.

8.5/10

I am personally a huge "Rambo" fan. I loved first blood 1, and first blood 2. The most recent installment was also great. When I think back on those, then compare it with this, I don't think of this as an actual Rambo flick.

I was extremely disappointed after and during this movie. I have heard people say "What's so bad about this movie?, it's just great action" those people couldn't be anymore incorrect. There isn't much action until towards the end of the film, and the rest is just him meeting up with people and what not, and gathering up information to plan a rescue mission.

The plot in this one is very down to earth, dull, and probably should have been expanded on. John Rambo must save Colonel Trautman after he is captured by Russian forces. In my opinion, the story wasn't really there, and very rushed. I also noticed that the film was a bit corny at moments.

They probably should have skipped this film, and named the newest Rambo, "Rambo III". If you are into minor action not pulled off very well, and a microscopic storyline, watch this film. Now the other Rambo's I highly recommend. You will be better off watching those.

3.9/10

Please, for your own sanity, do not watch this movie. It's a low budget flick with worse acting than anything I have ever seen. The cast looked alright, with Katt Williams (he had his moments), Master P, and Lil Romeo was involved in the making as well. I personally am not a big fan of Lil Romeo, and have not really seen much of Katt Williams. Master P isn't bad.

The plot is ridiculous, very boring, and been done before. It's full of a bunch of nobody actors. They date a bunch of random people from an internet dating site called "Hit me up". There is no depth, nor entertainment involved in this movie.

I honestly feel this is the worst film of this decade, with the exception of "motor home massacre".

1.1/10

"Sex Drive" is your average teen comedy mixed with juvenile humor, and some very cliche scenes. But, that was expected. I saw previews, and it looked nothing like the film really was. The plot was a bit unexpected, but still very good.

Three friends embark on a hours long journey in order to find Ian's internet "Soul mate". He met her the previous night, and wanted to meet up with her as soon as possible. It was originally going to be just Ian and his best friend, til he promised he would hang out with his other good friend Felicia. She tags along, and so the traveling begins. At first Lance and Ian lie to Felicia about why they are going to Tennessee. They tell her they need to visit Ian's ill Grandmother.

"Sex Drive" packs plenty of humor to be a must buy film, and definitely a movie to enjoy multiple amounts of times. The cast aren't a-list movie stars, but they did a great job, and pulled of a good one.

Main cons: Very basic story, starts off weak.

Main Pros: Very funny characters, pretty good character development, entertaining story.

Since I technically can't rate this film a 7.6, I just gave it a 7. It deserves a little better. Worth the watch.

I thought "Hancock" was going to be pretty bad. The previews looked like nothing but ridiculousness and just plain dumb. I never thought I would feel the way I did after watching it.

I surprised at how good it was. The story was well put together, and actually made a lot of sense. Along with the humor, cast, and everything necessary for a very good film. I laughed hysterically throughout a lot of the scenes. The cast was all there, co-starring Jason Bateman and Charlize Theron. I personally can't recall any major flaws. I can't give it a 9 or 10, because it's obviously nowhere near perfect. Just a few barely noticeable cons.

I may be saying a lot, but "Hancock" might be one of the best comedies of 2008. It comes highly recommended by me. Extremely good film.

8.2/10

"The Love Guru" is Mike Myers' most recent film, which also stars his Austin Powers co-star Vern Troyer. Let's just say This is no Austin Powers. Myers plays guru Pitka, a love guru from a different country (I personally forget where). He is called upon to help a professional hockey player get the love of his life back. Throughout the film, he tries different approaches for success, and the first couple are failures. He eventually befriends the owner of the Toronto Maple Leafs (Jessica Alba) and she helps him fix the hockey player's problem. They all become great friends.

"The Love Guru" brought me mixed emotions. Both laughter and the occasional confusion. I found some scenes to very funny, but the stupidity overruled that. I would recommend watching this, but for different reasons, to laugh at ridiculous things. Not a bad movie.

The previews make this movie look great. Almost like a Bourne type flick. To be honest with you, there were probably only one or two action related scenes. I personally don't mind films containing no action, but when it is advertised as action packed, I usually expect just that.

"Traitor" is your normal run of the mill suspense thriller. It is about a man turned terrorist named Samir Horn (Don Cheadle). He is caught selling some nuclear devices in a foreign country, and is held in jail for a bit of time. He then breaks out with a terrorist organization he ends up joining. The group asks him to go on a number of terrorist missions: bombing, etc. Meanwhile the Government is hunting him down with tons of evidence against him. He ends up helping the Government out by giving out directions to the final operation. Samir is than home free.

I wasn't very impressed with the main scheme of this film. I've seen it all before. If they would have added some more aspects mentioned in the plot and trailers, it would have been great. I also noticed it kept going for too long of a period. They tried too hard to get the point of the film across.

Positive aspects: Good story, nice cast, unique filming locations, and pretty suspenseful for the first half hour-forty five minutes. Not a bad film per-say, but not anywhere near what I would have imagined.

I won't lie to you, Paul Blart: Mall Cop has a target audience of little kids, and was definitely a family movie. I am not usually a big fan of those kinds of films, but in this case, it was a good thing. Kevin James was not in his prime, like he was in The King Of Queens, but he still made me laugh enough times with plenty of classic moments throughout.

He plays a mild mannered mall cop, forced to protect the mall when several thugs break in with the intention of stealing everything. Paul gets carried away with a nearby arcade, and doesn't realize they are there. He is the last resort to stop the thieves. He pulls off some hilarious stealthy tactics, and it's him versus five plus criminals. What happens after that is hilarious, and I won't spoil it for you. Go watch it.

"Paul Blart: Mall Cop" did not stack up to Kevin James' previous film "I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry", but is still a must watch just for a good time. Kevin James doesn't exactly shine, but does do O.K.

6.5/10

"Kane And Lynch: Dead Men" is one of the most underrated games I have ever played. I honestly heard nothing but negative comments about it. Critics were giving it crap for having bad shooting mechanics, and too many "f" words. Lets just say there are quite a few of those words, but it's for the best. Two men on death row are bound to swear a little bit. On the first mission I realized the shooting was going to be rather difficult to get a hang of. It is more difficult than any other game, but you get used to it after awhile and move one. The game also has a cover system, which I admit is a bit of a pain in the ass. There is no specific button to press to go into cover mode, it just kind of does it automatically, which can get frustrating at times when multiple enemies are shooting at you.

There is only one other aspect to complain about, and that is the a.i.(artificial intelligence). You will occasionally see them sitting in the middle of nowhere when in a shootout, making it an easy kill, no big deal really.

Lets get to the positive aspects. What I first noticed when starting the game, were the graphics and textures. Every character and all the environment look very real. Especially Kane And Lynch, the developers really made them look gritty and pretty intimidating.

I also noticed that the story is excellent. It really flows and makes a lot of sense. I never caught myself confused in any way, or thinking to myself "This is dull". It is like starring in an entertaining film.

Great close combat as well. No gun? no worries, just take your enemy down with a few hits. I thought that was a good aspect to add.

Why is this game underrated in my opinion? because I didn't notice any thing majorly wrong with it, like the ratings were showing. I am beginning to really enjoy "Kane and Lynch". This just goes to tell you, ratings mean almost nothing, it is all about preference. If you ask me, buy this game.

If you liked Call Of Duty 4: Modern Warfare, then you will surely love this game. I won't lie, it is basically the same just set in a different era. There is still that fast paced "arcade" style feeling to it, which is what everyone seems to enjoy. That was my only problem with "Call Of Duty 4" (I used to not be able to keep up, and would constantly get killed)

I was positively surprised with the increase of challenges and unlockables. CoD 4 had a lot, but this one added a pistol marksman challenge, and several other challenges. It's great fun. Not to mention there are now 65 available ranks, including the previous addition of Prestige mode.

If you asked me which was better between this and 4, I couldn't give you a solid answer. They are both pretty amazing first person shooters. I recommend buying CoD: World At War.